It’s been nearly 3 weeks since my operation. Initially I felt quite good. The sharp shooting pain had gone, I am doing more walking. The last 2 days have been harder. I am hurting a fair amount – my leg is aching (travelling down from my back and hip), standing is hard work.
I have to remind myself that there is still swelling from the operation, that you can’t compress a nerve for 2 years and then expect it to bounce back in 3 weeks and basically just to be patient. I am being diligent about my physio exercises and going out walking every day. I am not lifting, or twisting or bending. I am not playing with or cuddling my children enough, I am not standing up or sitting for long – in short I am doing everything the surgeon and team told me to, to help my recovery. I also had a good sob this morning when it all felt a bit overwhelming.
Lovely people are asking me how I am doing and how my recovery is going. It is really nice to know how much people (both people I know, and also strangers) are rooting for me. But I don’t really know the answer yet. I can’t seem to fit my emotions or my physical recovery into a ‘crap’ or a ‘fine’, they seem to be sitting in between the two and waiting to see what happens.
Being this diligent isn’t possible without masses of help. Family members giving up time to come and stay; to play with the kids, to do the lifting, the driving, the cooking the cleaning… My husband to be on hand even more than usual and to bear the brunt of the parenting, the family life, the money earning. It’s hard work all round.
I’m being asked a lot how I am doing. I’m not sure how often people ask him how he’s doing. I know his primary concern is for me, but it’s not just about me. It’s my body and I have to go through the surgery, the recovery and the pain, but it’s our life as a family and the effects go beyond just me.