Silver Clouds, Big Mercies and a Cup That is More Than Half Full

I have felt fed up today. My back and leg are hurting, little things that I know are little things felt like a hassle and decisions felt really hard to make. 

I know I still need to be patient and no doubt the pain management clinic will help in ways I can’t quite imagine yet, but the continuation of pain is disheartening. I knew before the operation that the back pain may not be fixed, but I shall confess to believing that it would be more fixed than it is. I thought if I did everything right (doing all the physio and all the walking, and no lifting etc) that I might have had a pain free day by now.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to take my 4yo ice-skating any time soon, but I hoped I might be able to do some hula hooping, or hop scotch, or running around the park and those things are feeling like a distant dream. 

However, there is one thought that consistently undermines any attempts to feel sorry for myself: and that is ‘thank goodness this happened with my second pregnancy and not my first.’ 

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One response to “Silver Clouds, Big Mercies and a Cup That is More Than Half Full

  1. Oh when I read this I wish I had that magic wand that could magic away your pain. Your courage and determination to remain positive in the midst of adversitycontinue toamaze and impress me, and deep down my pride in you grows. I was never able to do that and it is precisely becausefor that (amongst others) reasons that I am so impressed. It reminds me too of the power of a New Testament promise that “God will wipe away all tears” and I find myself wishing it could be now for you. I share your gratitude that your first pregnancy was not like the second (although as I recall it was pretty grim at times) and I share your delight in both of your children and my grandchildren. I think of you each day – with gratitude and admiration in roughly equal proportion – and enjoy both the memories and the anticipation of every meeting with you. Lots of love Papa PS Keep writing – you do it well (oops I missed out the word very – please place in the right position in that sentence for me) and as another PS thank you for the book of WW1 poetry which I was using recently as I headed for the Albert Hall to hear Britten’s War Requiem which included some of the text of Wilfrid Owen’s poems.Oddly I only recently grasped that his first name means “want peace”

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